I don't know why and how but ever since the last time I made a huge mistake in front of my classmates is whatever I'm doing in every minute matters to them. Even in what I blog about. Just minutes ago, my classmate posted something in our Facebook group and said something about me, reacting badly about what she said a long time ago for someone too. (Confused? So am I) - that's why I don't normally post what my thoughts for everything on Tumblr because on that too they keep track of me- I'm not famous nor trying to be one. But them being like that to me is worse than them being a Paparazzi. Personally, what they tell me right now simply don't matter to me any more. I know I can't really express what I feel when you're already going to talk to me in person but I think that this my last chance already to tell what I really feel. I don't mean to brag it out here and let the whole world know my problem and comfort me. No. If even my own friends don't care then that's okay with me but as long as they're still going to be there If I break down or something.
I've been feeling alone, sad and literally can't breathe because of the things that I have been experiencing for the past week. I don't even have the guts to tell them that "Can't you just back off and give me some time to breathe?!" I have just been controlling and telling myself to not cry because it's a sign of weakness. Right? So, that's why I cry when I shower. Sometimes. It's easier and less controversial.
I don't know what else to do anymore. I need my best friends. I need to talk to them and tell them all this. I just can't hide my thoughts like this anymore.
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